apathetic??

yes, apathitc is a pathetic way to be, but i am at this moment...i dont really know why. but, i do know this: it has to stop. have any of you actually experienced apathy? true apathy? where you dont actually care about anything but breathing to keep your body alive, and even then you aren't really caring, you're just doing. I have been mechanically living my life for the past 8 hours or so. you'd think it would be freeing, but its not...it takes a toll on your heart. your dreams, your vision, and your purpose basically dissapear. not by any means forever, but just the same, losing your zeal for life for a few hours isn't pleasant (no, i am not suicidal!!!). okay, this is just a note....seek the lord and you will find him, call his name and he will answer...you've got nothing to fear, and neither do i. I have ALL the hope in the world, seriously. I just need to look at the big picture and embrace it. so, here i am, trying to maintain conciousness...beceause that is my job.

Love Love Love