apathetic??

yes, apathitc is a pathetic way to be, but i am at this moment...i dont really know why. but, i do know this: it has to stop. have any of you actually experienced apathy? true apathy? where you dont actually care about anything but breathing to keep your body alive, and even then you aren't really caring, you're just doing. I have been mechanically living my life for the past 8 hours or so. you'd think it would be freeing, but its not...it takes a toll on your heart. your dreams, your vision, and your purpose basically dissapear. not by any means forever, but just the same, losing your zeal for life for a few hours isn't pleasant (no, i am not suicidal!!!). okay, this is just a note....seek the lord and you will find him, call his name and he will answer...you've got nothing to fear, and neither do i. I have ALL the hope in the world, seriously. I just need to look at the big picture and embrace it. so, here i am, trying to maintain conciousness...beceause that is my job.

Love Love Love

fail and fail again

Another sunrise. Another failure. Another whirlwind. Another try.

Another sunrise. Another failure. Another whirlwind. Another try.

Another sunrise. Another failure. Another whirlwind. Another try.

we just eat, sleep and repeat, eat, sleep and repeat, eat, sleep and repeat.

will i ever learn from my mistakes? life is certainly not what i thought it was yesterday, and i am not who i thought i was 24 hours ago either. But, will it provoke change? maybe, maybe not....it depends on me. Am i willing to admit that i am wrong? to be humble and content knowing that i am not in control? really, i should be thankful that i am not in control...i have so much freedom because i cant change what happens in my life...God has taken care of it. he knows every word i say before i say it, he knows every step i take before i take it, he knows the very breath that will be my last. does he not look after the sparrow? so, what do i have to complain about? nothing....nothing at all. I mean seriously, if God has the perfect plan, who am i to grumble about it...its all for my own good anyways.

love love love

Religion: the opium of the masses

Band-aids are good for a scratch, but a life requires more; we take for granted that our faith is what gives us that "more" in life. People/society use religion as a band-aid. A cover up. It numbs their need to resolve things because they become semi-content in their complacency. The bottom line is that most people aren't saved, and their religion is why. Their religion gives them an excuse to keep on living their lives for themselves, unwilling to sacrifice or surrender.

People are so desperate for something to live for, but dont know how to let their faith, as opposed to their religion, change their lives. its already been said but...."physics tells us that everything on this planet will eventually fail us. Trusting in anyone or anything will tell us the same thing. Pain, beauty, hope...you mix it all together and call it life. THe choice that is there then, is where we go to find meaning and truth."

This right here is the biggest problem. If people knew where to go for meaning and truth they wouldnt need to use it as a band-aid. am i right?? When you find the love of Christ and put your faith in him, there is no longer a need to pretend because you've got the real thing, and there is nothing to fear. The truth will set you free!

So, to sum this up....religion gives people (including myself...i am by no means immune to this confusion) a false hope. It makes people apathetic, indiferent and much to adaptable. so, all this to bluntly say, your ONLY hope is in Christ Jesus...there are no loop holes, and you cant beat around the bush....

love love love

faking something...faking life.

do you ever feel like you have all the right words to say? know all the right things to do? have the right image? yeah....me too. Its nothing new, but i got to thinking....what direction? what direction am i headed? even with all of these "right" things life is meaningless unless you actually become that person that you're posing as. why do we keep on living this lie? why are we so afraid to either let ourselves go and be who we were made to be, or to step up and do what we know we have been called to do/be. we are going in a direction that is not pleasing to anyone. somewhere where nobody really knows us, somewhere where we are trapped in this shell that we've built around ourselves, somewhere where nothing comes to light....so, this is to encourage, you and myself to throw away the masks that you have stuck in your back pocket, for the times you feel so desperate to hide.
am i making sense? well if i'm not, i'm sorry, its a little late and i am a bit tired and my thoughts are really jumbled.

remember:
love love love