Words cannot express it

I actually dont think that words can express how absolutly fantastic and amazingly wonderful the show i saw last sunday was. it was played by the greatest band that i know of. you probably know who it is but just in case i'll just say it... SWITCHFOOT. but seriously, words cannot even express how great it was. it was unbelievable. okay, i know that it is really cheesy to be such a "Fan" (i hate that term by the way), so i prefer not to think of myself that way. yes it is true, i am in love with their music, their passion, their deep thoughts, and their purpose, and i suppose i also must admit they are very handsom. this technically describes a fan "fan" is but still...i am just an.....admirer.

I have been struck with lonelieness...(yes this eventually relates to the above information...lol). not the lonelieness that you feel when you dont have any friends, the lonelieness that you get when you realize how small you are. compared to the world and everything it holds, i am nothing. there have been many times when i have tried to convince myself that if the guys from switchfoot knew me, if only that opportunity arose, that i would be different to them, that i would be special, not just some random "fan". well i have recently, come to grips (although its always been buried deep in my heart) with the simple fact that that is not the case. it sounds super pathetic i know....but please dont laugh. So now that i have come to terms with that, i realize that all of my world rests on God's love for me, how special i am to him. It is still really kind of disheartning to realize that i will never amount to anything special for the guys of the band, because i admire them so much (oh, and you would too if you had read everythign i had read and listened to everything i have listented to...oh man, you dont even know! lol). But anyways, the world has no place in my heart...it has nothing to offer me that has any eternal value. so, to be certain that my life will be worth something for eternity i am focused on grounding myself in the holy spirit, being willing and ready, taking on anything that comes my way as an opportunity to prove my faith.

Love Love Love.